This is my first ever blog, Im really proud of myself. Im used to writing diaries, its a good way of measuring where youve been and where you could go. Gives direction I suppose. Thats what life coaching is, I think. Someone gave me a life coaching book when I was pregnant with my last child, my husband deserted me and I was left with two tots and one in my tummy. Its was called the "Big Book of ME", like you actually want to fill in graphs and bar charts according to which level of depression you have stooped into!

So I should talk about today. Bloody car, what is it about mechanics and women. They see me coming and before I know it Im blinded like a rabbit in the headlamps in a barrage of complicated words. Another huge payment on the visa. I am going to stop spending. Im going to a week of minimal, no car, walking everywhere. Ive had enough. No more "Ben 10" action figures, we will be making things out of cardboard! The world is full of theiving bastards, everywhere you turn its a money pit, they know no ones got any money so they charge triple to compensate. Im all for a society which is self supportive. Everyone contributes, no massive businesses driving the market prices. Children are educated with real skills in real appreticeships, actually working, getting paid and qualifications at the same time.

Other than that, Ive got other worries today, Im willing a baby to be alright, breathing her to live, willing her to make a choice to be here. There must be some force that deciedes the lines between life or death. Maybe by willing living that we can change the outcome?