DRABBLE

Phone calls

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 20:14:22 +0200

Someone phoned me today, only that it wasnt a phone call. You know that type of call when someone phone has accidently dialed your number. I could hear what they were doing and saying. I could hear a child shouting and screaming. I couldnt make out what they were saying. I could here a dog barking and some cars. Maybe they were at the park. I could here distant shouting from other children. You cant tell the difference between wind and water on a phone. Thats what Ive now decieded.

I tried to say that I was on the end of the line. They didnt hear me. I felt that I must have been in someones bag or pocket. Probably with the dust, bits of broken buscuit and odd fluff.

It occured to me that if someone was in trouble they might dial any number for help. I wondered if I should have carried on listening.

ps. The baby is making tiny bits of progress. Also re: my last post, how strange that
someone would advertise their party in that way....so victorian.

Comments

Is it just me or.....

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:47:00 +0200

I pulled this of the village notice board today.

"Madeleine is hosting a wonderful charity tea party with fabulous food and an informal art show of Dickies oil paintings. Here you will be able to enjoy homemade sandwiches, cakes and cream teas in Madeleines beautiful garden with great company.

Dickie has been an amatuer artist for many years, as his dear wife Barbara suffers from Alzheimers disease, his life is now very sad, painting gives him great pleasure. I asked him if he could show them and he said he would love to show them and to meet old friends, and to eat our superb tea. The art show will be mostly his work, but several of my fathers Archies work dating back to 1900, and a few of my own."

Any thoughts?....I already have a few of my own!

Comments

positive energy

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:53:09 +0200

Who believes in postive energy? Can you will someone to survive? I dont think I believe in any god, but I think I believe in some type of spirit world which is unconnected to any type of god.

I am saying all this because my sister phoned last night to say that her in-laws were practising raki for the baby. I dont know anything about raki, or anything else connected to alternative healing. I guess Im sceptical like anyone else when asked can a person can heal another person.

If you think something will be ok, surely it will be. There are so many people willing the baby to live that all that energy must be heading somewhere. You can choose to give up and die, and that isnt what shes doing.

Comments

Everyone knows someone

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 00:34:55 +0200

Heres to outside summer parties. Arrived home after a quick shindig at the neighbours. Toes numb with cold, currently eating toast and slurping a hot cup of tea. Its a good way of making sure the guests dont hand around too long, bar the house, and hope that they all turn up in skimpy summer dresses.

There always someone at a party who hugs you and tells you how fantastic you look. Perhaps this is reverse psychology for them saying ,"do I look alright?" Then there are the people who peck at each other. "Have you seen what they are wearing?" "Is she still having problems with her son?" Its like having your own soap opera in your back yard. Perhaps its a way of scoring your inperfactions against someone else.

In any case, I love my bed, so thats where Im heading. I can hear the music outside. The poor girlfriends of those pissed up blokes. They are having to do their their loyalty bit in the freezing cold. Im glad Im on my own.

ps: baby got though another day.

Comments

what a show!

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 17:38:14 +0200

I love sports days or for that matter anywhere you can see parents fussing over their kids like cats in the local show. The effort, the preening, the attention to detail. I love to people watch, I consider myself an outsider in this repect. I dont understand the attention people give to the mundane. Not that Im saying sports day is mundane.

You have to picture the scene. Children grouped into teams on foam mats. Parents positioned on rugs down the side of the track. Note the attention of where the rugs are to the finishing line. Some parents brings suitably large picnic hamper (oh the ones with cups, plates, cutlery and napkins!)and group together in socially matched cliques. A couple of parents stuggle to leave the foam mats at all. Their babies (tots actually) giving award winning diplays of cant do, wont do. What do people actually think is important in life. It is as suspect, the size of the house, the money. Yes that is important to a degree. But the charade of it all. Is life just a show, to prove that you can do it better than the next men. I dont know. Its odd thats all.

ps: baby still with us, with each hour passing, shes making tiny steps to exist.She cant give up.

Comments

Black as black, Black as pitch...

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:31:55 +0200

Ive painted the staircase hand rail. High Gloss black. It annoys me the way it drips down onto the other painted bits and the hard stone floor. Im using masking tape and a dust sheet. Its still manages to get everywhere else. All I need now is a child to get hold of it. Ive told them not to touch it. Thats like putting sweets out and them not having a sneaky one. They know its there, and who can resist.

I let someone down today, I hate that. Its scratching at my conciense. Some people can mess you around and move on without a worry. Thats not me. I seem to put the world in front of me, cant say no and all that. Seem to be the sucker that everyone asks for a returnless favour, "She wont mind". Actually, I do mind, and I dont know why I say yes. My mum was the same, maybe its genetic.

And still a baby is desperatly unwell. Please live. We want you here.

Comments

The big book of me, who are they kidding

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:36:11 +0200

This is my first ever blog, Im really proud of myself. Im used to writing diaries, its a good way of measuring where youve been and where you could go. Gives direction I suppose. Thats what life coaching is, I think. Someone gave me a life coaching book when I was pregnant with my last child, my husband deserted me and I was left with two tots and one in my tummy. Its was called the "Big Book of ME", like you actually want to fill in graphs and bar charts according to which level of depression you have stooped into!

So I should talk about today. Bloody car, what is it about mechanics and women. They see me coming and before I know it Im blinded like a rabbit in the headlamps in a barrage of complicated words. Another huge payment on the visa. I am going to stop spending. Im going to a week of minimal, no car, walking everywhere. Ive had enough. No more "Ben 10" action figures, we will be making things out of cardboard! The world is full of theiving bastards, everywhere you turn its a money pit, they know no ones got any money so they charge triple to compensate. Im all for a society which is self supportive. Everyone contributes, no massive businesses driving the market prices. Children are educated with real skills in real appreticeships, actually working, getting paid and qualifications at the same time.

Other than that, Ive got other worries today, Im willing a baby to be alright, breathing her to live, willing her to make a choice to be here. There must be some force that deciedes the lines between life or death. Maybe by willing living that we can change the outcome?

Comments